Spawn

While my fiance and I have a hung jury on weather or not we actually want children in the near future, I do feel the pressure to breed.
Not from my own family, thank gods, but perhaps a tad from his mother. She is very subtle about it though, and it's very easy to ignore her, or change the subject when it's brought up.

I have my own thoughts about it though, on a regular basis, that pressure me.
Would that be my own "clock" as it were? Even though it has never been plugged in metaphorically speaking?
it's not that I dislike children (well, I dislike most children belonging to other people).
Perhaps I'm just gun-shy from all the horrible brats out there with parents that aren't doing there job correctly.
***Even as I write this, I can hear a child throwing a tantrum somewhere across the street from me.
Ill behavior would not be tolerated in my household. I believe in spankings, within reason of course. I only had 3 good ones as a child, all for very good reasons, and I remember each one and why I received it.

I just really enjoy my freedom.
Both of us do.
Although we are both in our mid 30s, we aren't ready to give that up; the ability to just have a weekend away, or even pop out for a date, a movie, even working on projects.
I doubt we could even afford to have a child now anyway. Little ones are expensive!
But the pressures I put on myself are entirely based on the knowledge that I *need* to have a child, rather than weather or not I *want* one. Need and want are two very different things, especially when it comes to deciding to have children.
I need to do this to continue the family line, but I don't really want children.

Also, the European races are dwindling, and those that are left, are so lost.
So many of us have forgotten our roots and our history.
That's not to say that mixing with other races is a bad thing, but if I were say, an Hispanic person staying this, I'm sure few would consider me "Racist".
I'm likely considered racist in thinking and feeling the way I do, simply because I'm a European or "white".

Ok, fine.
If voicing my deep concern that my culture, creed, and heritage is being lost makes me racist in the eyes of the majority; so be it. Oh well!
That said, mistakes were made by our forefathers in the past that have tarnished the white European image, along with modern trends that seem to be an attempt to stamp out central European culture globally. Not just in the US.
Making one culture or cultures/behaviors popular over all others isn't a new thing. Demeaning those that aren't racially associated with said popular culture(s) is where the problem lies. It's a bad habit we humans have, no matter what color we are.
Lately though, the media has gone so far as to vilify "whites" in all forms of media. To show us as stupid, inbred, uncool or the racist bad guy.
Is it sad that I am always so surprised these days, when I see a white actor on TV or in films, playing the hero?

But I digress;
I feel the need to breed.
Not because I really want babies, but I feel like I have to in order to help continue the viking bloodline in this world.
I know that's not a really good reason to have a child; just to spawn for the sole purpose of populating.
You have to really want it, REALLY badly. To love the concept of devoting your time to a child and its upbringing. I would want to have enough financial security to be a stay at home mother and wife. My mother did this with me, and it made a huge difference in how I was reared and the values instilled in me....such as proper behavior and manners(!) among many other qualities.
Qualities that are sorely lacking in kids and even grownups, that come from households that don't have time for them. Daycare is not the proper place to raise a child in it's early years, and should only be used as a last resort. Not on a regular basis.
That isn't to say that a child should be allowed to become overly clingy. A mother must teach her child to have independence, even when they are small.
of course no matter how often or how little you leave them with a daycare, family or friends, they will always cry when you leave.
I remember that as a tot, I did, ha! Even when left with Grandmother, so that mom and dad could have a date night.

You have to be absolutely sure, otherwise you run the risk of becoming one of 'those' parents.
The ones with multiple or even just one child in tow, that you see in line at the bank or the store. When you make eye contact with them, they have that certain look that says, "please kill me now."
I NEVER want to be one of them, and I NEVER want to put a child in a situation of apathy and neglect.

I guess it's true;
all the smart people that should be breeding don't because they are smart. All the stupid unfit-to-breed people are breeding, because they lack the ability to make intelligent decisions.